


Thoughts

by Erika (Aeiouna)



Category: Pussycat Dolls
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-29
Updated: 2009-10-29
Packaged: 2017-10-05 09:31:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeiouna/pseuds/Erika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just a simple drunken night. So why did Nicole want a repeat of it more than she wanted to be with her boyfriend?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lauren](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lauren).



> Songfic set to Katy Perry's "Thinking of You"

Nicole turned to face the wall when Lewis crawled into bed. She knew what he wanted, because it was the same thing he wanted just about every night. She just didn't want the same. She never did. However, she was too nice to ever say anything to him, so when he started rubbing her side with his hand, she just closed her eyes tightly, almost a cringe, and let him do what he was doing. That didn't stop her, of course, from letting her mind wander away from the situation, thinking of anyone and anything at all except the man touching her right now.

Instead, her mind went to the woman she wished was the one touching her.

_She had jumped on the bed, the scent of margaritas and wine on her breath. Both had been available in abundance at the party they had just left. "You look sooooo hot tonight Nikki!" she slurred, hands going into Nicole's hair._

_"Ash, you're drunk!" Nicole laughed, but she didn't make any move to push Ashley off of her or the bed._

_"So?" Ashley chuckled, "So are you. So what?"_

_Nicole started to tell Ashley she had a good point when Ashley leaned in to kiss her..._

It had been one time, one drunken night back when the Dolls first started. Something both girls in question should have just forgotten about. For some reason, however, Nicole never did forget. She willed herself to remember. She never managed to let Lewis on to the fact her mind was elsewhere, because she moaned when he touched her weak spots, and purred like a kitten when he kissed her. She knew it probably sounded totally fake, but he never let on that it did.

Lewis tried to kiss her, and Nicole hoped he couldn't tell she was resisting, cause she was. As soon as his lips touched hers, Nicole imagined they were Ashley's.

_"You're a pretty good kisser," Nicole whispered as she looked up at the ceiling._

_Ashley tried to interlock their fingers. She was still slightly tipsy, "Yeah? I could say the same for you, you know."_

_"But you know this must never, never get out. Ever."_

_"Silly girl," Ashley laughed, the sound infectious and almost comforting, "We'll both forget about this in the morning, when we're reaching for the Tylenol and bitching that we'll never ever ever drink like that again."_

Nicole wished that was the case, but in actuality once her hangover disappeared it only left her wanting more.

* * *

Nicole heard a knock on the door one day. She wasn't expecting anyone so her eyes widened as she looked up into the peephole and cried out, "Who's there?"

"Nikki it's me!" Ashley called from the other side of the door. She shifted, tracing the pattern on the doormat while she waited for an answer at the door. She had had to will herself to come over today, because what she was about to tell Nicole would either be a very good thing, or a very bad thing.

"Oh! Ash! Come in! Come in!" Nicole swung the door open and let Ashley walk into the room. "I was just thinking of you," she smiled. It actually wasn't a lie. "What brings you over here?"

"Well, I..." she started, "I was thinking to myself that I hadn't seen or heard from you in a while, you know? And I thought that maybe it would be a good idea to just, you know, come over and catch up. We haven't really talked since we finished touring."

_Talked_, Nicole thought to herself, _or flirted_? She then shook her head, realizing the sheer idiocy of her thoughts. That night was just a drunken sex-fest, something that was forgotten when the hangover wore off. Perhaps even before that. She cleared her head and nodded. "Yeah... yeah it's been a while since we talked. Well, we kinda did some texting. Maybe. So how have you been?"

"Anxious to get back to work, you know? Vacation time is fun, but it can get so _old_, you know?" Ashley propped her feet up on Nicole's coffee table. She didn't care that it was purchased in Italy with Nicole's first royalty check. From _Popstars_. "You know, you and Lewis have been together for quite a long time. When is he gonna pop the question? When are you two gonna tie the knot? When do I get to be a bridesmaid?"

_Fifth of never_, Nicole thought, _Not when I'm secretly in love with you_. She licked her lips. "Umm, I dunno. You know we're both very busy people. When I'm on break, he's working, and vice versa. It's not like either of us have real jobs that we can schedule around and plan something huge like a wedding... and before you say it, I'd rather not pay someone to plan it for me."

Ashley pursed her lips and nodded. "No, no I can understand that. Personally, I'd pay someone. But you're not me. Anyway, you got something to drink? Preferably something hard," she leaned back a little. She was gonna need something hard to make the announcement she was about to.

"I can go look," Nicole walked into the kitchen and found a bottle of wine. "I've got some red wine, will that work?" she called out to the living room.

"Yeah, that'll do!" Ashley called back and waited for Nicole to come back with the glasses. She took one. "This is gonna sound really silly, but..."

"But?" Nicole took a sip from her own glass.

"Remember the launch party?" Ashley downed her glass but didn't dare take anymore, she wanted to calm her nerves, not get plastered.

"Which one?" Nicole asked, though she had an idea about which one. She just needed to be sure.

"The first one. The launch party for the group," Ashley ran her finger over the rim of her glass and pondered refilling it.

"Of course," Nicole sucked in her breath sharply, "That was the night you and I got plastered and..." she trailed off. She wasn't supposed to remember that, even though it seemed like Ashley had also remembered that.

"Uh huh," Ashley didn't need Nicole to say it out loud, cause she knew what she was thinking. "I couldn't get it out of my head, I know I had said we'd both forget it. I lied. And I've been wanting to do that again. Just... sober this time."

Nicole didn't speak. She hoped she didn't need to. She leaned in close and just gently let her lips touch Ashley's. "You and me both," she whispered. "You know, I've got a king sized bed and a boyfriend who will be gone for the rest of the day."

"I'll race you there," Ashley jumped up on her feet and took off for Nicole's bedroom.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Thoughts (Podfic Version)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5892514) by [Luovien (Aeiouna)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeiouna/pseuds/Luovien)




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